So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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