You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
