so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
