i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
