I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
