i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
