If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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