Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
