i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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