I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You can't just leave with hair like that
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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