the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
