we have officially mastered the walk of shame
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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