The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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