I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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