So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
