I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
