Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
