if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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