im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
