he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
