no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
