Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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