Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
No I am not eating basil off your cock
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize