i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
