We're facebook friends in real life
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
