Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
