id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
