I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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