3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
