But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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