i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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