Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
