i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
