So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
