I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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