i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
