He passed out mid-signature
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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