I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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