I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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