I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
