Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You are the jesus of drinking
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
