i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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