Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
there's paper in my vomit.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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