Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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