whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
