Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
