Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
