forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
