My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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