New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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