She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
