is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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