Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Randomize
