another moral hangover. fuck.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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