I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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