Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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