Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
