it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
