I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
