it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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