Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
