Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
