turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
