I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
