FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
