11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
