he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
