Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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