i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize