he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
