I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
