Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
