The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
