He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
