Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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