oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
