He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize